It’s interesting when people talk to you about having a child, you get to see all of the things that they want for themselves with children. Some people want a little replicate of themselves, someone that they can model in their own way and shape. Other people it’s unconditional love, the kind of love you know only comes when something totally relies on you for everything. It’s given me some time to think about what I want and what I don’t want.
I want someone that I can teach and ultimately shield from all the things that I don’t feel I can change about me, or perhaps learn from them how it might be possible to change those things. I want to be able to help them grow older and happier than I am because although many of you see me laugh a lot I wouldn’t say I am an extremely happy/ positive person. I would like them to be better than I am, more relaxed, less serious, less driven and yet more successful. I would also like them to appreciate the beauty that’s just given to us and so often ignored or taken for granted. The calm look of a loved one in untroubled sleep, the beautiful green that you only see during or right after a rain. These are the things I would like to teach and in turn I would like them to teach me how to be happy with the simple things, to appreciate something that I have done that people think is good rather than dismissing it and moving on. Unconditional love? I don’t need to learn that lesson, but the other things I really look forward to figuring out.
